Today I went onto the ladies room at the Illustration building I work at to treat myself to a tampon. Sometimes it’s nice to have new things. I put my quarter into the little slot and twisted the knob of the boxy poon padding dispenser.
A Playtex shot out with suprising force and hit me in the right tit. As if the Machine had spat it forth and said: “THERE’S your FUCKING Tampon.” It was terribly rude about the whole thing, really. You know, it had been a long day for me too and I wasn’t being a dick about it. Besides it’s sole function is to give bleeding ladies tampons. I almost deserved a refund for this kind of service.
“You sanctimonious little vadge-plugging fuckbox…” I said and bent to pick up my hurled tampon.
It was then I noticed a student was behind me fixing her hair in the mirror and she had just watched me cuss out a feminine products vending machine.