That’ll Do Pig

25 May

I think it was over this weekend that the Swine Flu thing really blew up. The basketball game was over and Valerie switched to CNN. The anchor’s spoke of the death toll in Mexico with that mix of seriousness and barely concealed glee that’s the hall mark of 21st century journalism. Death tolls were recited, the CDC was quoted, fear was mongered. Then they got to the part any one cares about which is how it’s going to affect the US.

“People in midwest are freaking out right now. I guarantee it’s going on right now.” I said to the other people on the couch. “You should have seen them during the anthrax scare. they love to panic almost as much as they love Applebee’s.”

“I don’t care about this.” Said Valerie. “I just want to see Bea Arthur’s obituary.”

Sure enough every hour since getting back from Tahoe Yahoo news has been running head lines like “YOU COULD BE AT RISK” and “PANDEMIC ALERT RISES” or “HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF.” That last one is my favorite because it’s full of Durhay advice like washing your hands, not sneezing on people and taking vitamin C. Really? Really? Is that how you prevent a flu? You assholes. My mother told me that when I was six.

So now the back peddling starts. Folks have gotten all worried and hyped up and now need to be told that this isn’t AIDS. It’s a bad flu. So many have died in Mexico because it’s a country that has a fucked up infrastructure and bad (worse than the US at least) health care.

But for real though. If this cold I have kills me I want a giant granite pig for a tombstone.


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